using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We have started to decorate penises.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
