I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
