she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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