no. you can't hotbox the world.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
