i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
