my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
