Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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