the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Panties = found
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize