It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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