I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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