thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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