I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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