He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
