im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
