o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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