he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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