singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
