i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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