I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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