Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
