Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize