brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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