Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
tell me about the fingering
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
