I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
