Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
