And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize