I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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