The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
