I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
In America we eat man semen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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