It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
