Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
