and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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