Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
