Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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