I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize