Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
