this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
