Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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