can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
