dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
