you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
