does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
