you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
