Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
