dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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