sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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