There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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