idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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