did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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