Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
