Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i barfeds in our rink
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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