Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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