another moral hangover. fuck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
