I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
