Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
