So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
