What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
