We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
