i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
